I am assuming this subject means the last 12 months. The latter end of last year and the beginning of this year. So in order to end on a high note, I will start with some of the lows.
Lows
As October neared, you may recall a drunken fall caused me to have a tumble down a flight of stairs and break my collar bone. I know this was a particular low at the time, but even in hindsight it doesn’t seem that bad. I had the bone replaced with a piece of metal and in fact, I am little disappointed that I don’t have a war wound to show off. The scar is very clean and hardly noticeable at all. Coming home near the end of October, wasn’t a low as such, in fact during the initial few weeks, I was very optimistic about what was too come. However, around November time, that high seemed to have worn off and I found myself in a funk, a very unpleasant funk. I was irritable and annoyed at everything. I wasn’t very fun to be around. As the new year came around, I was very restless, I wasn’t working and I was missing my friends in Manchester an awful lot.
The Middle
I added this little sub category because there were a couple of things, which I don’t consider to be highs or lows but rather events I have learned some lessons from. Seeing HIM during both trips to Manchester this year, telling him how I felt, putting our friendship at risk, being frustrated that he didn’t reciprocate, reading into things too much, were all eye openers for me and in the month or so that has passed since I told him, I have really started to look on it as a positive thing. It wasn’t till after, that I realized how much of a relief it was to feel that way for anyone. It didn’t come to me until then, that I was worried that I might be cold, closed off to those type of feelings and I have felt myself open up a lot more when it came to being in love.
Highs
It’s already been a fun year, a drastic improvement on 2012, spending time with my Brother Karl and Sister Tanya, connecting with my Irish friends. I am also a lot happier when I am working, having money and the freedom it offers to do some fun things. Both trips to Manchester this year have been awesome. Connecting with some old friends whom I had lost contact with and sharing some incredible laughs. 2013 has been a very fun year as I said and I look forward to it continuing.
Monday, 17 June 2013
Sunday, 16 June 2013
Day Sixteen - My Views On Mainstream Music
I should probably point out that you will find no hipster nonsense here, no exclamations on how I liked an artist before they hit the mainstream, or that my music tastes are too underground for you to know about them. My views on mainstream music are in no way controversial. Although I like a lot of acoustic folk music, like Bon Iver, Iron + Wine or James Vincent McMorrow, their music is very accessible to everyone. But I also like my big hits too.
Take for example, Justin Bieber, I cannot understand why he gets so much hate, for apparently being untalented. It’s quite clear the boy can sing and he has co-writing credits on a lot of his songs and I always get the impression that he is not just some labels music monkey. So I think the hate is somewhat unjust The song ‘Baby’ with Ludacris, is genuinely one of my favorite songs. People and I know there is probably one or two reading this right now, condemn an artist just because they are worshipped by the general populace, believing themselves to be too cool to like someone so popular. One Direction probably have as many haters as they do fans, hating them for their style and wiles. People seem to have such strong opinions, from adoration to revile. What ever happened to just plain indifference. These days, when you don’t like a particular style of music or a band or an artist, you can’t just not listen, enjoying the music you do like, you now have to HATE them, and make sure you tell your friends. Can’t have people thinking you are a closet Belieber or Directioner.
Although, I don’t load the official chart or anything like that, if I hear a song on the radio or in a club and I like it, I will download it, regardless of who the artist is. I think many people, even if they love a song, will not buy it or download it because they don’t or won’t like person who sings it. Missing out on some potentially good music for misguided prejudices.
And that is a shame.
Take for example, Justin Bieber, I cannot understand why he gets so much hate, for apparently being untalented. It’s quite clear the boy can sing and he has co-writing credits on a lot of his songs and I always get the impression that he is not just some labels music monkey. So I think the hate is somewhat unjust The song ‘Baby’ with Ludacris, is genuinely one of my favorite songs. People and I know there is probably one or two reading this right now, condemn an artist just because they are worshipped by the general populace, believing themselves to be too cool to like someone so popular. One Direction probably have as many haters as they do fans, hating them for their style and wiles. People seem to have such strong opinions, from adoration to revile. What ever happened to just plain indifference. These days, when you don’t like a particular style of music or a band or an artist, you can’t just not listen, enjoying the music you do like, you now have to HATE them, and make sure you tell your friends. Can’t have people thinking you are a closet Belieber or Directioner.
Although, I don’t load the official chart or anything like that, if I hear a song on the radio or in a club and I like it, I will download it, regardless of who the artist is. I think many people, even if they love a song, will not buy it or download it because they don’t or won’t like person who sings it. Missing out on some potentially good music for misguided prejudices.
And that is a shame.
Saturday, 15 June 2013
Day Fifteen - Favourite Tumblrs.
To be honest, I crapped out on this post because I am not a big heavy Tumblr user. However there is a Tumblr site that I really enjoyed when it was being updated. You can check it out here, it is pretty funny.
When On Canal Street
When On Canal Street
Friday, 14 June 2013
Day Fourteen - My Earliest Memory
My earliest memory, I was probably just a toddler, one or two years old. This was when my parents still lived together. I assume my mother on this day, had taken me on some errands and we were in the vicinity of our house. Now, as we strolled along, with me in my push chair, I remember the feeling of excitement that would bubble up inside me, if we didn’t take the turn back towards the house and kept going on down the main road because that meant we were going to our local supermarket, which at the time was called Crazy Prices. That would also mean, I was probably going to get a treat.
I remember being put in the shopping trolley and as we made our way around the supermarket, having a chocolate digestive biscuit to suck on. I remember just the pure feeling of glee, I felt with that little biscuit in my hand. The shopping trips always felt like such an adventure. That supermarket is still there, although now it is part of the retail chain Tesco. Back then though, it seemed like such an enormous place, full of wonderment and adventure but the adult in me now, sees it for what it is. A rather small grocery shop, with not much variety. But I still remember it as this magical place that gave me biscuits.
I remember being put in the shopping trolley and as we made our way around the supermarket, having a chocolate digestive biscuit to suck on. I remember just the pure feeling of glee, I felt with that little biscuit in my hand. The shopping trips always felt like such an adventure. That supermarket is still there, although now it is part of the retail chain Tesco. Back then though, it seemed like such an enormous place, full of wonderment and adventure but the adult in me now, sees it for what it is. A rather small grocery shop, with not much variety. But I still remember it as this magical place that gave me biscuits.
Day Twelve and Day Thirteen Double Whammy!
Delivering day 12 and 13 a little late today, as I has busy couple of days. Day 12 is to bullet point my day and day 13 is to write about a place I would like to visit. I decided to double these up because day 12 was not very interesting, but day 13 had a couple of notable points.
Bullet Pointing My Day
• Since I started my new job, I have been working a shit load and yesterday was my first mid-week day off since I started.
• I woke up stupidly early because my sleeping pattern has me up at 7AM every morning.
• Tidied my room and made plans to do absolutely nothing.
• Went back to bed at 12 and slept till 2.
• Headed to the City Centre, I had a date planned and wanted to get my haircut.
• Did some shopping, went to a thrift store and got an awesome YSL shirt. I did some research on it and it retails at $690 dollars. An excellent find!
• I then had my date, when I first saw him, I was very attracted to him but that quickly changed once I got speaking to him, he was so pretentious and I cringed when he would point at a piece of clothing he was wearing and made me guess how much it cost. He didn’t read for pleasure and seemed pretty shallow. However dinner was nice and he was good in bed, so not a complete write off. I won’t however be seeing him again.
• When I got in last night, I had a fun chat with Andrew, we talked about the type of people we want to meet. I have come to the conclusion, should I settle down with someone, they should really be a more well-rounded version of myself. That would be neat.
A Place I Would Like To Visit
Whenever, I hear about people going to the United States to visit, they either go to New York or Las Vegas. They do the tourist thing, go see the sights, do some shopping, gambling or whatever. However, if I was to go to the states, Las Vegas would not be on my itinerary, at least not at first. I would like to go see New York, although not for the shopping or sightseeing destinations. I would want to check out it’s club scene, see the seedier side of the city. I would want to rent a car and drive to every hick down in the south, drive down route 66, a total Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas kind of adventure. Pick up a hitch hiker, sleep in the desert. Fun stuff like that
Bullet Pointing My Day
• Since I started my new job, I have been working a shit load and yesterday was my first mid-week day off since I started.
• I woke up stupidly early because my sleeping pattern has me up at 7AM every morning.
• Tidied my room and made plans to do absolutely nothing.
• Went back to bed at 12 and slept till 2.
• Headed to the City Centre, I had a date planned and wanted to get my haircut.
• Did some shopping, went to a thrift store and got an awesome YSL shirt. I did some research on it and it retails at $690 dollars. An excellent find!
• I then had my date, when I first saw him, I was very attracted to him but that quickly changed once I got speaking to him, he was so pretentious and I cringed when he would point at a piece of clothing he was wearing and made me guess how much it cost. He didn’t read for pleasure and seemed pretty shallow. However dinner was nice and he was good in bed, so not a complete write off. I won’t however be seeing him again.
• When I got in last night, I had a fun chat with Andrew, we talked about the type of people we want to meet. I have come to the conclusion, should I settle down with someone, they should really be a more well-rounded version of myself. That would be neat.
A Place I Would Like To Visit
Whenever, I hear about people going to the United States to visit, they either go to New York or Las Vegas. They do the tourist thing, go see the sights, do some shopping, gambling or whatever. However, if I was to go to the states, Las Vegas would not be on my itinerary, at least not at first. I would like to go see New York, although not for the shopping or sightseeing destinations. I would want to check out it’s club scene, see the seedier side of the city. I would want to rent a car and drive to every hick down in the south, drive down route 66, a total Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas kind of adventure. Pick up a hitch hiker, sleep in the desert. Fun stuff like that
Tuesday, 11 June 2013
Day Eleven - IPOD Shuffle.
Continuing on with Paula's Place, 30 Day June Challenge. The idea of this post is to put your Ipod or Mp3 player on shuffle and post the songs on here. So here we go...
Misha B - Do You Think Of Me
Some of you may have heard of Misha B when she competed on the X-Factor UK. Although that year I was rooting for Little Mix to win, which they did. I enjoyed her performance of Girls Just Want To Have Fun. This is an acoustic version of her single Do You Think Of Me, which I absolutely love. She has struggled to get mainstream success but there is no denying her talent. I sometimes can't help but think of HIM when I listen to it.
David Bowie - Heroes.
This song speaks for itself. It is such an uplifting classic and sometimes I will seek it out if I need a lift or some motivation. It's also on the soundtrack for one of my favourite movies, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. The entire soundtrack in fact is absolutely fantastic.
Tracey Chapman - Telling Stories
I am a huge acoustic/guitar jam fan and It all started with Tracey Chapman. This is one of my favourite songs of hers and I love the lyrics and it's message.
Florence And The Machine - Heartlines
When I first heard Dog Days are over, back in 2010 I fell in love with Florence and The Machine. I think Ceremonials is the one of the best albums in recent years. I do love the acoustic remixes more and this remix is one of my favourites of theirs. A truly awesome and beautiful song. It's haunting intro just sets you up for a really emotional piece of music.
Solange Knowles - I Told You So.
Always in the shadow of her superstar sister, Sol-Angel and The Hadley Street Dreams was released in the Summer of 2008, without much fanfare. Although critically applauded, commercially it did not do to well. The album is massively under-rated and that is such a shame as the music is wonderful, credible and interesting. Songs like this and Cosmic Journey, Sandcastle Disco and I Decided, allude to the old mo-town sound with a contemporary twist.
Blackstreet - No Diggity
There is no song that would get me onto a dancefloor quicker than this RnB super classic. It's my sisters all time favourite song. A brilliant floor-filler.
Stooshe - See Me Like This
Stooshe came to my attention after the release of their second single Black Heart last year. If you haven't heard it, I suggest you check it out. All 3 girls really can sing and their debut album London With The Lights on, which was released this month, has been on constant play, I can't get enough of it. This song, really has some wonderful vocals and is one of my top picks from the album. It has a pretty addictive hook.
James Vincent McMorrow - Wicked Game.
This is song is truly beautiful. A cover of the Chris Isaak classic. Performed stripped back by irish Singer/Songwriter, James Vincent McMorrow. A wonderful raw version, which would pull at the heart strings of Chuck Norris. I have often sat in the dark and listened to this song, whilst thinking of HIM. I really hope if you listen to any of the songs in this post, that this is it.
Kodaline - All I Want.
Another Irish act, Dublin band Kodaline, reached mainstream success when this song appeared on Greys Anatomy. When I first heard it, I was getting ready to leave to Manchester, the song actually has the power to make cry. A mix of strong vocals, lyrics and guitar work, make this one of the best songs on my Mp3 player.
Beauty And The Beast - The Beast Dies/Transformation/Finale
I have many movie scores on my Mp3 player. Titanic, Avatar, Halloween, Resident Evil, Twilight and of course Beauty And The Beast. This is a really dramatic piece, and you can hear it in the movie, just as you think the beast dies, which is my least favourite part because I prefer him as beast rather than a real man.
And there you have it. I hope you enjoyed it and REALLY hope you have found a new song to play, or a band to check out.
Misha B - Do You Think Of Me
Some of you may have heard of Misha B when she competed on the X-Factor UK. Although that year I was rooting for Little Mix to win, which they did. I enjoyed her performance of Girls Just Want To Have Fun. This is an acoustic version of her single Do You Think Of Me, which I absolutely love. She has struggled to get mainstream success but there is no denying her talent. I sometimes can't help but think of HIM when I listen to it.
David Bowie - Heroes.
This song speaks for itself. It is such an uplifting classic and sometimes I will seek it out if I need a lift or some motivation. It's also on the soundtrack for one of my favourite movies, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. The entire soundtrack in fact is absolutely fantastic.
Tracey Chapman - Telling Stories
I am a huge acoustic/guitar jam fan and It all started with Tracey Chapman. This is one of my favourite songs of hers and I love the lyrics and it's message.
Florence And The Machine - Heartlines
When I first heard Dog Days are over, back in 2010 I fell in love with Florence and The Machine. I think Ceremonials is the one of the best albums in recent years. I do love the acoustic remixes more and this remix is one of my favourites of theirs. A truly awesome and beautiful song. It's haunting intro just sets you up for a really emotional piece of music.
Solange Knowles - I Told You So.
Always in the shadow of her superstar sister, Sol-Angel and The Hadley Street Dreams was released in the Summer of 2008, without much fanfare. Although critically applauded, commercially it did not do to well. The album is massively under-rated and that is such a shame as the music is wonderful, credible and interesting. Songs like this and Cosmic Journey, Sandcastle Disco and I Decided, allude to the old mo-town sound with a contemporary twist.
Blackstreet - No Diggity
There is no song that would get me onto a dancefloor quicker than this RnB super classic. It's my sisters all time favourite song. A brilliant floor-filler.
Stooshe - See Me Like This
Stooshe came to my attention after the release of their second single Black Heart last year. If you haven't heard it, I suggest you check it out. All 3 girls really can sing and their debut album London With The Lights on, which was released this month, has been on constant play, I can't get enough of it. This song, really has some wonderful vocals and is one of my top picks from the album. It has a pretty addictive hook.
James Vincent McMorrow - Wicked Game.
This is song is truly beautiful. A cover of the Chris Isaak classic. Performed stripped back by irish Singer/Songwriter, James Vincent McMorrow. A wonderful raw version, which would pull at the heart strings of Chuck Norris. I have often sat in the dark and listened to this song, whilst thinking of HIM. I really hope if you listen to any of the songs in this post, that this is it.
Kodaline - All I Want.
Another Irish act, Dublin band Kodaline, reached mainstream success when this song appeared on Greys Anatomy. When I first heard it, I was getting ready to leave to Manchester, the song actually has the power to make cry. A mix of strong vocals, lyrics and guitar work, make this one of the best songs on my Mp3 player.
Beauty And The Beast - The Beast Dies/Transformation/Finale
I have many movie scores on my Mp3 player. Titanic, Avatar, Halloween, Resident Evil, Twilight and of course Beauty And The Beast. This is a really dramatic piece, and you can hear it in the movie, just as you think the beast dies, which is my least favourite part because I prefer him as beast rather than a real man.
And there you have it. I hope you enjoyed it and REALLY hope you have found a new song to play, or a band to check out.
Monday, 10 June 2013
Day 10 - My First Love and Our First Kiss
At the time, I was very certain that what I was feeling was love. As I have grown older and matured, I have come to realize it wasn't love, not really. I am not sure,what I should call it now, what its name would be. But let me tell you the story.
He was dark, hazel eyes and a beautiful body. He was at first, a friend of a friend. When I first met him, I could tell there was a story there. He was damaged, had suffered or had some kind of event mar his life. You could see it behind his eyes. At the same time, I was dealing with a friend who had a crush on me and although I didn't feel the same, I couldn't help playing games with him, kissing him when drunk, ignoring his calls and texts during the day. I thought it was harmless flirting.
The first kiss with Hazel Eyes, happened on a dancefloor in a club. He moved in for the kill and I looked around, to make sure that no one was watching. It was an amazing kiss and I remember the jolt of electricity run right through me.
Hazel eyes, would socialise with our group of friends and without sounding shallow or superficial, he was not the normal type of man that we would normally hang with. He wore trainers and tracksuit bottoms on nights out, he lived at home with his Mother and didn't have a job. He is what some would call a scally or a chav. We would share secret kisses, when no one was around or when we thought no one was looking. We would meet up and have sex, for weeks without anyone knowing. He wasn't my type at all and because he had such a turmoiled upbringing, he was untrusting, angry at the world and had the shortest temper. He was also fantastic in bed.
I found myself thinking about him during the day, waiting for work to finish to I could see him. We would talk and I would see a side to him, that I really don't think he showed to many other people. I found it exciting, the secret meetings, being privy to this unseen side of him and when we finally went public, I could not have imagined the backlash that I would feel from my friends and family. 'He will break your heart' they said. 'He is not good enough for you' they said. This just added even more exhilaration to the entire affair. Him being such a good kisser and lover, where the bow on the present.
I told myself I loved him, I told other people. Eventually when we moved in together and tried to be a normal couple, I realised very early on that I wasn't cut out to make a home with someone. All we had was arguments, break ups and make up sex. I looked around at the life we built together and found that I didn't really like it very much. But, we had so much, a flat, a life that breaking up seemed so terribly inconvenient. When I finally cut ties with him, there was a massive flood of relief, which seemed to pore into every pore of my life. My new life. It was as if all those long months of conflict, arguments, where necessary for me to get this massive reward and the months after things finally ended, were some of the happiest times of my adult life.
It was a lesson learning relationship, it helped me determine what exactly it is I may want out of my future relationships. I want excitement but I also want ambition, I want drive but at the same time I want spontaneity. I know what it is I don't want and that is a child, I never want to feel like I am responsible for the care of another adult.
He was dark, hazel eyes and a beautiful body. He was at first, a friend of a friend. When I first met him, I could tell there was a story there. He was damaged, had suffered or had some kind of event mar his life. You could see it behind his eyes. At the same time, I was dealing with a friend who had a crush on me and although I didn't feel the same, I couldn't help playing games with him, kissing him when drunk, ignoring his calls and texts during the day. I thought it was harmless flirting.
The first kiss with Hazel Eyes, happened on a dancefloor in a club. He moved in for the kill and I looked around, to make sure that no one was watching. It was an amazing kiss and I remember the jolt of electricity run right through me.
Hazel eyes, would socialise with our group of friends and without sounding shallow or superficial, he was not the normal type of man that we would normally hang with. He wore trainers and tracksuit bottoms on nights out, he lived at home with his Mother and didn't have a job. He is what some would call a scally or a chav. We would share secret kisses, when no one was around or when we thought no one was looking. We would meet up and have sex, for weeks without anyone knowing. He wasn't my type at all and because he had such a turmoiled upbringing, he was untrusting, angry at the world and had the shortest temper. He was also fantastic in bed.
I found myself thinking about him during the day, waiting for work to finish to I could see him. We would talk and I would see a side to him, that I really don't think he showed to many other people. I found it exciting, the secret meetings, being privy to this unseen side of him and when we finally went public, I could not have imagined the backlash that I would feel from my friends and family. 'He will break your heart' they said. 'He is not good enough for you' they said. This just added even more exhilaration to the entire affair. Him being such a good kisser and lover, where the bow on the present.
I told myself I loved him, I told other people. Eventually when we moved in together and tried to be a normal couple, I realised very early on that I wasn't cut out to make a home with someone. All we had was arguments, break ups and make up sex. I looked around at the life we built together and found that I didn't really like it very much. But, we had so much, a flat, a life that breaking up seemed so terribly inconvenient. When I finally cut ties with him, there was a massive flood of relief, which seemed to pore into every pore of my life. My new life. It was as if all those long months of conflict, arguments, where necessary for me to get this massive reward and the months after things finally ended, were some of the happiest times of my adult life.
It was a lesson learning relationship, it helped me determine what exactly it is I may want out of my future relationships. I want excitement but I also want ambition, I want drive but at the same time I want spontaneity. I know what it is I don't want and that is a child, I never want to feel like I am responsible for the care of another adult.
Sunday, 9 June 2013
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